Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A New Begining.

It has been almost a year since I last blogged and a lot has happened. I had to kill Pixie since she really isn't me (more explanation will come later). I started seeing a therapist in July and since going I now have HOMEWORK ugh :(   I HATE HOMEWORK!! but I have to get through the "layers" of my life, so I decided that since it is hard for me to talk about certain things openly without thought I would blog them since I tend to type without thinking and I promised my therapist that I wouldn't censor any of it if I blogged about it. I just hope I don't scare what few followers I have off :) The whole therapy thing started off as marriage counseling but then we discovered that I myself have a lot and I mean a lot of things hidden in my closet of life that need some much needed attention. So this is the reason I changed the name of my blog as it is more fitting :) I figure even if no one reads it I will in a sense get my H word done.. So that being said Welcome To My Crazy World.   PS: Hubby and I are doing good and we seem to be on the right track. Besides can't we all use a little therapy in life??
 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

More Memories.


I am going to start this particular post off by apologizing to my fave cousin Amber (I won't get upset if you get me back ten fold) and my bestest friend Ronda (she has been thru a lot of crap with me over the years). I am sorry but I couldn't resist. Love you both and you both mean the world to me :)

Since I have been running down memory lane recently and stories are being told and memories have been shared I decided to start  going through pictures and maybe just maybe get them organized when I came across a few pictures. I sat on the floor looking at these photos and remembered how much I miss being a teen. I really miss the traveling and daily socialization with friends. When we would talk on the phone for hours after school about the guy we were in love with and what we were going to do over the weekend. There were times of tears too when we found out that said guy had broken our heart or we found out that they only wanted to be friends. One of my most favorite memories is when each summer Grandpa would take my cousin Amber and I and sometimes one of our friends on various trips such as Nashville, TN, Branson, MO,  and so on. Then Amber moved to Phoenix, AZ so I would ride with Grandpa to pick up Amber and bring her back to Iowa for the summer. I loved going to Phoenix. I wanted to move there when I graduated from high school.  So instead of writing a bunch of things I will show some embarrassing photos although I must confess that I love to look back through pictures and remember the good old days. 

The photo below is Ronda and I racing and I think she beat me if I remember correctly. She and I have been thru Teenage Hell and back and this was taken on a trip we went on in high school with my Grandpa Dick to Branson, MO That was probably one of my favorite trips. Enjoy!!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Family and Memories

I am finding myself really torn with family. I love them all dearly almost to much since I worry about them all the time. My surviving grandparents' health seems to be deteriorating all the time but they manage to stay active and keep telling me to stop worrying but I can't. They don't want me to make a fuss over them but that is how I am. I am also noticing that the health of my parents is starting to deteriorate too.My Mom had a heart attack just before Thanksgiving and is on the mend thankfully she is taking some much needed advise and putting it into action and that was after my dad had not one but two heart attacks this past year and trying to get him to listen to the doctors and take better care of himself is like trying to pull teeth out of a tiger..He thinks that eating Mc Donalds and continuing to smoke is ok and insists that he will be fine. On a lighter note he is going to church and has since the heart attacks. He hasn't regularly attended church in a very very very long time. We had the pleasure spending our day with him and beings that Christmas fell on what we call "Sabbath" we went to church and then went to my aunt's house for dinner and Christmas. I would have to say that this Christmas was one of the best in a long time. If only Grandma &Grandpa were still with us it would have been even better. I miss them terribly.

It is very hard for me to not want to go back to the church I grew up in but I have been away for so long I think it would be very hard to go back. I credit that church for a lot of my beliefs but at the same time don't want to face all the questions as to "Why do you go on Saturday instead of Sunday?" or "What kind of religion is that?"and so on. The truth is I don't know and couldn't tell you the answer since simply put that is how I was raised.

Growing up my sister and I spent every single weekend at my Grandparent's house (even after my parents go divorced) that was until I was able to drive and it wasn't cool to hangout there. We went on Friday night and I always remember Grandma would have everything she needed to have done and after sundown T.V. would be shut off and we would get things ready for church the next day. We would get our baths done, get clothes set out and go to bed. Early Sabbath morning we would get up and have a simple breakfast (mine being saltine crackers, Helman's Mayo and tomatoes). We would get all dressed up and go to Sabbath School. After Sabbath School we would use the restroom get a drink and get settled into our seats ready for church. It never failed that Grandpa would start nodding off during the sermon and Grandma would have her arms crossed and be sitting close enough to Grandpa that she would pinch him hard enough to wake him up. My sister and I would try very hard not to laugh as Grandpa nearly jumped out of the pew. It still makes  me laugh thinking about it. The other church members around us had no idea what Grandma was doing since her arms were crossed in a way that her pinching hand was covered by her arm. Grandpa even tried to sit on the opposite side on occasions and she would switch how her arms were crossed so she could still get him if he dosed off.

After church was over we would either go back to their house or we would stay for Potluck. I love the Sabbaths where we had Potluck. There would be so much food and I would get to hang out with my friends longer. On non-potluck Sabbaths we would eat lunch and go take a nap. After our nap we would go outside or play games with our Aunts. At Sundown Grandpa would turn the T.V. on and watch the news while Grandma got dinner ready. After dinner we would watch Wheel of Fortune. The best part came after dinner Grandma would make popcorn the old fashion way and we would eat while watching  various shows. Sunday morning we would wake up to the yummy smell of pancakes. Oh how I looked forward to Grandma's pancakes. Sundays were spent cleaning the house and doing the laundry for the rest of the week. Sunday's meant get the work done and the going home to get ready for school. I find myself want to go back to those days. It was a simpler time. You didn't worry about living up to anyone expectations and you could be yourself and didn't care what other thought of you.

I am really finding that small town living has huge down falls. Don't get me wrong I love Wilton but it comes with a price. Everyone knows your business whether you want them to know or not. You can trust very few people and the ones who you can you are still cautious about what you share with them. It is a very cliquey town. People don't ask you about things instead they talk about it to everyone else. I remember a sermon that the pastor of the church my family has been attending for a few years about gossip. It kind of makes me laugh since recently we haven't been in church due to reasons I am not going to bore you with but non the less I was told that they heard that we were going to another church. The things that make me go humm. Gossip!   Shame on those that took the liberty to tell people that we were going somewhere else. Did anyone even bother to call and ask if that was the case? No. Instead we get a Facebook message from a few people asking if things are ok. YES people we are fine. We have been spending time with our F A M I L Y !! :) It is the holidays and we have family that live out of town. As a matter of fact we got to spend time with our new great nephew Landyn. Who by the way is the most adorable little boy (I am just a little prejudice i must say) he had a rough start but is home and doing A W E S O M E!! I can't wait to see him and spoil him some more.. Soon Landyn soon.. So get a grip people we haven't gone anywhere.
  On the positive side small town schools are the best. Wilton Schools are by far the most adaptable and have been awesome for my oldest who has Cerebral Palsy.